Searching For Support 

"I love you, how can you not love me? How can you not want to stick around? Look at me, I’m being successful, clap for me? Why aren’t you clapping for me? Why don’t you care?" - Amber Janae

Hey Dreamers! I know it's been a while and I apologize! With so much going in life, and blogging and vlogging being relatively new for me, it's a challenge to keep up with posting content, especially relevant content. Anyway, I was on my facebook this weekend, you know, doing my social media thing. And I happened across this article shared by my friend and associate, ChicoMDA

The 2016 article, entitled "Why I Learned to Stop Counting Who Doesn’t Show Up and Valuing Those That Do" by Amber Janae truly resonated with me. It touched on a very sensitive subject that I know I have struggled with in recent years, and I know many artists who in their own way, have dealt with it. The article gets straight to the point, with Amber right away explaining her experiences growing up and how repeatedly she had held on to her anger and resentment for those who despite all the best efforts, are never there for her when they are needed. The piece then took a turn, as she explained her relief, and change of heart once she allowed herself to let go of those heavy, negative feelings in favor of simply focusing on those who are indeed there. This is what resonated so profoundly with me.


As a performer, what drives me are my fans and supporters. Especially when I'm on stage, and I have a crowd in front of me, filled with peers, as well as new faces. I feed off of that energy and I don't think I'll ever have the words to adequately describe those feelings. However, getting that perfect situation often feels like a chore. Going into setting up a show, the first thing always on my mind, is getting people into the venue. It's just the bottom line of the whole endeavor. You want people to come. Not just to see me, but to enjoy the experience of the show. You can book artists who have a good following and have a very successful event but it's still not the same as having the people there who literally came to see YOU. And getting those people to make the effort to come out, in some ways, is just like pulling teeth.  

You have people that will literally come as soon as you set something up and grab their ticket, show up, buy mech, be the loudest, etc... and that's AMAZING. But you also have the disappointments. The people that swear they will come. Then they don't show up. And you're looking for them, and waiting until you realize that it's just not going to happen. And then of course there's the people that like, support from a distance. The "I like your stuff but I'm not really that invested" types which I suppose is fair, until their constantly asking when the next show is. I've experienced some great turn outs, and then I've had some hard let downs. It can be a motivation killer in a lot of instances.  

So, getting back to the article, when I read it, it hit home. I've been working on finding myself and getting out of this slump I've been in. And I'm resolved to now, just focus on the task. Wether it's a song, a new video, blog, show, whatever, I'm going all in. I know the risks. But I know too that I have really great people in my life who are always there for me, even when many others aren't. I'm going to focus on the people who are here, standing in my corner at a moment's notice. I'm focused on the real ones. Anyone else is temporary, and I can't apply permanent expectations on temporary people. And I think, if this is something you also have a struggle with, try doing the same. 


Until next time Dreamers! 



To find more on Amber Janae, check out her award-winning lifestyle blog at

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